FACS at Morgan State: In order to see the path forward, sometimes you have to go back to where it all started.

So I went back to Morgan State for a fundraising event for the Student Organization called FACS Kulture which is for any student at Morgan State but the mission is to spread awareness about Family and Consumer Sciences (FACS) as a professional field or industry. This organization didn't exist when I graduated from Morgan in 2016 and no shade but the Department Chair was this old West Indian lady who was never very sure about what was going on and could not connect with me at all. I never really reflected on what it was about her (or me) that didn't make us click (I think there was partially a communication barrier) but graduating and trying to meet the requirements in that program was one of the hardest processes I ever had to complete and she was of no help at all. I almost feel like she wasn't trying to understand me because she didn't care if I succeeded. I don't remember if I shook her hand or not at graduation but I know I didn't smile at her. On purpose. Everyone else got a smile.

But if we're being honest, I never felt supported by the staff in most academic programs I have attended at Morgan but the feeling of not being supported was normalized in my personal experience. I often didn't feel fully supported at home or in grade school either. So maybe it wasn't so much that the staff didn't support me, I didn't know what support was needed because I was used to not being supported in the best way to accommodate my needs. I was used to receiving anything I could get instead of what I actually needed.

So how does one ask for support they never received before? How do you know that you need something if you've never had it?

I had ADHD my whole life and didn't know it until age 25. I didn't even know that I was thinking differently than other people because other people cannot see what is happening inside my brain. I would have to describe what is happening inside of my brain in order for you or anyone else to know that it's even different. And if you didn't explicitly ask me "what does it look like inside of your brain?" I would never have thought to tell you because, again, how would I know that it's even different??

So I think sharing your personal experience--you're real experience--is really important. Initially, when writing out what I shared above about my experiences at Morgan, I thought about how I could sugar coat this in a way that doesn't seem too harsh because I don't want to slander my HBCU (or that lady). Listen, I love my HBCU and I don't regret going there at all but, just like any relationship in my life that I separated from, it wasn't always sunshine and rainbows and sometimes niggas will just do you dirty and treat you how you don't deserve to be treated. The bright side is that I got a lesson from the situation which was meant to make me grow and be better so I can't be mad. No person, place, or thing is exempt from criticism just because you want things to look nice. What's real is what's real.

Now, back to the sunshine and rainbows. Sorry, I went off on a little rant there but I think God wanted me to get that off my chest.

Okay so, FACS Kulture had some recent graduates and current students share their experiences on a panel at the fundraising event. One of my former professors of the program Dr. Holland who I remember being a really supportive educator is now the Department Chair. The recent graduates shared very warm and loving words and embraced each other when they saw each other. It was so refreshing to witness. There were two other FACS professors there who were also very warm and engaged with everyone and especially with the students. It just makes me think how the energy of one individual in a leadership position can shift a whole organizational structure. With Dr. Holland as department chair, it shifted the energy of the staff and the students. Most importantly, it empowered the students to form an organization telling other people about FACS! That's amazing.

I see myself as that kind of leader and educator. As a teacher in the public school system they didn't see my vision. Or they may have seen my vision but they thought it was too much trouble and they didn't think the students deserved it. That's really what it is with bitter educators in energy sucking environments: they don't think you deserve to have better accommodations than they did. They think because they suffered, you should have to suffer too. The children should have to suffer too?? Like are y'all serious right now?

No one deserves to suffer. If someone is sharing with you how something is affecting them or how something is making things difficult for them, as an educator, you should offer support to that student that is most suitable for their needs. You may have to do a little digging to get there though. You have to learn your students and their personalities, ask the right questions, engage them by using their interests, CONNECT WITH THEM. This means talking about things other than schoolwork and don't just tell them what to do, help them figure out the best way for them to do something.

Basically, I learned about who I needed to be as an educator through my personal experience as a student. That's how I best supported my students' needs by putting myself in their shoes. I didn't need to go back to Morgan State to necessarily see that, but I needed to go back to see that it only takes one person to step into leadership to make a positive shift in any community.

Peace.